Nwan my Love – sorry she played you!!

My good friend (& cousin – 6 times removed) just called me today – I haven’t spoken to him in a while. The last time we spoke he was getting married and he had prayed concerning her and had peace of mind concerning her. He had asked her to marry him; she had agreed but was reluctant to fix a date. You see she was young, I’m told 23 and he was 36 yrs – Yes 36 – even the age difference shocked me. He loved her very much and she appeared to as well – but she was hesitant.

Why shouldn’t she be hesitant – according to Miguel’s “The games women play” he might have been a “fry pan” or a “grill” guy. He was successful and financially stable – And he wasn’t going anywhere and she got whatever she wanted from him. A man that could be relied upon, a man with upstanding morals – but the reasons why the relationship should not work was glaring!!

He was devastated – He was hoping for a December traditional marriage but she was now leaving – She had toyed and left – she had got close to his mother and finally came out with it. “Our relationship will not work” she said – “I am catholic and he’s protestant – the age difference is very much – we have nothing to talk about and we are not on the same level – He’s too old for me and more mature than I am – I need to find me someone with a smaller age difference and interest”.

Baby girl – didn’t you know all this while you were dating? Didn’t you know all this when you were spending his money?, hounding him day and night, telling him how much you love him and can’t live without him?, sweet pea, didn’t you realise this when your sisters and family friends told you at the beginning concerning the lack of common ground? – Why did you have to pull him in only to break this good man – who has always been on the good guy’s side. Can a woman ever tell of how he has hurt tricked and abused them? If there is one please say it loud!!

He has always been family orientated – worked to get his family off the ground – always too busy for himself but available for others – This was the one thing he wanted – you should have told him from the beginning. There is nothing wrong with what you did baby girl (breaking off the engagement), but it was the way you did it and the person you did it to.

It was not meant to be, but in the future don’t play this game. You knew it would never work cause the reasons you outlined was always there from the beginning – you should have told him what you wanted him for and not used him to get what you wanted – only to dash him when you realised how serious he was. Baby girl you are far too young to play these games – If ever in doubt – Then stop – don’t pretend!!

I hear another is about to take your place – I hope he will take his time – and not rush into bad rubbish.

Disclaimer – it makes you think – just because you have peace about someone you intend to propose to does not make them the right one. Sometimes it so obvious that that person is playing games!!

UPDATE –

I forgot to mention that Nwan my love is now married to the “Best Woman” in the world.. I love that girl mannnn, she is something else. He got married Jan 2007….. God is Faithfull my people.

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Its a interesting World!!

I had decided to put a very interesting perspective on life thus far – but I just couldn’t let this be. As I pondered on how to seek the answer to my question without it being an allegory, I finally decided that I needed help.

You might find this funny – I know I do!

I am a Nigerian as far as I’m concerned – I might not be a typical Nigerian who spent a lot of her grown up years in Nigeria but I have tried to make up for my inadequacies – I travel back to Nigeria annually – when I’m there I’ve tried to learn the local dialects so that I am not taken advantage of – tried to learn some Yoruba – It always comes in very useful – I’m not saying am an expert but I can get by – I can understand and speak Igbo – I’ve also started learning the pidgin English – I try to hang out more in the village – no point in staying in the cities [cause its all a learning experience] – Apart from the lack of electricity, bad road, running water, mosquito bites, police thieves, some wazup men – I believe I have slowly assimilated myself back to the system.

I also have a Nigerian passport. My father made sure he got us all one. Our Nigerian passports must have expired the first time I remember in the early or mid 90’s. My dad always had our Nigerian passports – So he never got round to renewing them – So in 2001 he decided to travel to Nigeria on a leave to stay for a year or more – and he remembered he had to renew our passport – We all had to go to the Nigerian embassy in London – I have never seen a place so disorganised in my entire life. We had got all the forms signed, every requirement met – but they refused to renew our passport – They made up one story or the other – I nearly lost my rag that day. So Finally my dad asked to see the guy in charge of the embassy – They had my dad waiting for hrs – my dad was cool and collected – I was looking for someone to run my mouth to – so finally he met the man – whom realised he knew my dad – they struck off a conversation – and within hrs all our passports were renewed.

My executive self have been asked to be chief-bridesmaid at my dear friend and cousin’s wedding – My passport expired august of this year – I really don’t want to have to go through everything that we went through just to get one passport – so I thought I should go get a visa – A friend adanna had applied for a Nigerian visa – even though she spent her entire secondary school terms in Nigeria – her visa application was denied – You can blatantly tell she’s Nigeria, she talks Nigerian, has a Nigerian name, but they declined her visa to go to Nigeria.

So what I’m I getting at – It looks like a Nigerian like me will have to apply for visa to go to Nigeria. They’ve asked I should bring invitation letter from Nigeria to show I will not go to Nigeria disappear, and not want to return – to show I have sufficient funds to stay in Nigeria and will not be a burden to Nigeria

What if I choose to renew my passport – I need to get thumb print – do they still do that – and get someone in official government to watch me sign. My dad had always dealt with that side of things – but its time I try and deal with this myself. So this is where you guys come in. Please my blog friend – I need your advice – ibi like say – I no go return to Nigeria again o. My trip is planned for mid January – any chance any of this immigration issues be resolved before then?