My good friend (& cousin – 6 times removed) just called me today – I haven’t spoken to him in a while. The last time we spoke he was getting married and he had prayed concerning her and had peace of mind concerning her. He had asked her to marry him; she had agreed but was reluctant to fix a date. You see she was young, I’m told 23 and he was 36 yrs – Yes 36 – even the age difference shocked me. He loved her very much and she appeared to as well – but she was hesitant.
Why shouldn’t she be hesitant – according to Miguel’s “The games women play” he might have been a “fry pan” or a “grill” guy. He was successful and financially stable – And he wasn’t going anywhere and she got whatever she wanted from him. A man that could be relied upon, a man with upstanding morals – but the reasons why the relationship should not work was glaring!!
He was devastated – He was hoping for a December traditional marriage but she was now leaving – She had toyed and left – she had got close to his mother and finally came out with it. “Our relationship will not work” she said – “I am catholic and he’s protestant – the age difference is very much – we have nothing to talk about and we are not on the same level – He’s too old for me and more mature than I am – I need to find me someone with a smaller age difference and interest”.
Baby girl – didn’t you know all this while you were dating? Didn’t you know all this when you were spending his money?, hounding him day and night, telling him how much you love him and can’t live without him?, sweet pea, didn’t you realise this when your sisters and family friends told you at the beginning concerning the lack of common ground? – Why did you have to pull him in only to break this good man – who has always been on the good guy’s side. Can a woman ever tell of how he has hurt tricked and abused them? If there is one please say it loud!!
He has always been family orientated – worked to get his family off the ground – always too busy for himself but available for others – This was the one thing he wanted – you should have told him from the beginning. There is nothing wrong with what you did baby girl (breaking off the engagement), but it was the way you did it and the person you did it to.
It was not meant to be, but in the future don’t play this game. You knew it would never work cause the reasons you outlined was always there from the beginning – you should have told him what you wanted him for and not used him to get what you wanted – only to dash him when you realised how serious he was. Baby girl you are far too young to play these games – If ever in doubt – Then stop – don’t pretend!!
I hear another is about to take your place – I hope he will take his time – and not rush into bad rubbish.
Disclaimer – it makes you think – just because you have peace about someone you intend to propose to does not make them the right one. Sometimes it so obvious that that person is playing games!!
I forgot to mention that Nwan my love is now married to the “Best Woman” in the world.. I love that girl mannnn, she is something else. He got married Jan 2007….. God is Faithfull my people.