My peace have gone, he exclaimed!

“Fifi burst into the room where I had sat for a little while trying to get the gist of what it was I was reading” – She said.

She was filled with pain. She looked like she had been crying for days on end, “in a little bit of a rush” she said to me. Do you know any lawyers? She asked. I need some legal advice. And I don’t have much money. I need to find an affordable one.

I was a little confused. She couldn’t tell me why she needed one, except that it was very urgent she found one. I had gone through a divorce proceeding before so I knew how to locate one. Besides I was surrounded by many, so I suggested – she contacted the citizen’s advice bureau, on catford high road, and ask for legal aid. I also jotted down, all the lawyers on the south London area, and quickly laid my hands on a news paper I was reading earlier to look for any lawyers advertising their services.

After all my efforts, she left with all the information I had found, and her burden a little lifted. I started to wonder why she would need one, and for what reason. You see Fifi, was the best friend anyone could ever have, but we were never close. I knew her through a friend of a friend and also through that friend I heard that she was now married and had a handsome son.

The next day, Fifi came to me again, I smiled and said to her, we need to stop meeting like this. She told me she was looking for a job, whatever it was she would do. I suggested we stepped into the MacDees next door to have some coffee and discuss her options. When we entered we were met by their care assistants, who told us they were hiring people for Wednesday nights. Fifi looked at me and said, “I want to apply”. I looked at her and replied, “I will join you”. She was shocked and said to me, could anyone of your calibre ever want to reduce her standards to help a friend. I smiled and replied; only the humble and secure in the Lord can. I am not proud, and working here doesn’t reduce who I am in Christ Jesus, neither does it have any influence on my confidence. I will join you, and donate my earnings towards your cause. She smiled a little, yet still refusing to tell me what had entangled her so.

Many evenings had passed, before I decided to call in on Fifi. I’ve never been to her house before, neither have I ever met her husband and son. I knocked on her door. She came to the door opened it, and let me in. She looked like she hadn’t been out all day, was in her night wear and her husband and son was no where in sight. She started to wail, and said, “My husband no longer lets me touch him. He is disgusted by the mere sight of me, and every time I go to him in our marital bed, he pushes me out and calls me names”. She stopped after that, and left the living room, pacing from one end of her house to the next. I didn’t have the opportunity to try and console her, she looked like she was on a one way destination to breakdown and there was no return from there. As the evening progressed, so also did her dementia.

I waited patiently, in her living room, not sure what else to do, the whole house was filled with darkness as she refused to put any of the lights on, so I sat in that darkness. She was no longer forthcoming with any more information.

As I waited I heard the front door open. Her husband stepped in, and with her son asleep in his little car seat. He must have thought she was alone in the house or no one was in. He lit the hall way light, I stood up from the chair I sat on, she went to greet him, he saw her and as he turned away from her, he saw me. I saw in his eyes, he too was filled with pain. He started to look at me intently, and could no longer hold the pain. He started to cry, a grown man crying. He started to walk again towards the door on his way out, and said to me – “ask her what she did. Ask her why she’s stained so badly. Ask her why her brother has refused to settle down, and her sister will never get married. Ask her what manner of family she comes from. Ask her, why she couldn’t come to me before”.

In that moment it all made sense. “She was raped by her father as a child along with all her siblings”. She was too ashamed to tell her husband. And only after they got married did she tell him.

I ran to her immediately, I held her in my arms tight and refused to let her go. She tried to wriggle her way out, and I refused to let her force her way out. I must have held her what felt like forever, when she finally spoke. In her pain she asked me “what manner of person are you, and why will you not let me die in my pain. I’ve only heard and met you a few times, but I’ve never known you. Yet you decided to trust me and stick with me regardless of whatever my situation was. You have been a good friend to me, never asking me questions, but always going out of your way to help me”.

I didn’t know what to say, and without thinking, words started pouring out of my mouth, as if someone was speaking through me. I reminded her of how precious and important she was to everyone and more importantly how much God loves her. I said to her “that the only mistake you made was not telling him about your past”. By this omission she had broken his trust and the peace that he had. What infuriated him more was the fact that she could not trust him enough and be open about her past before they got married. He wondered if she was unable to tell him about this, what more could she be hiding. These thoughts continued to fill his mind and the only way to show her how much she hurt him was to taunt her with it instead.

She had come to me for legal advice because she was going to bring her father accountable for what he did in a bid to save her marriage and regain the trust of her husband. As he went out to try and get away in his car, something constrained him. He could no longer move but weep in the car for the innocence of his wife that was lost and how the pain of her past was now trying to ruin his once blissful marriage. This night was the first night he had said any words to her concerning how he felt since that fateful day she told him. He braced himself. Carried their son back into the house and said to her – “my peace have gone. And I have no way of ever getting it back”.

I realised, I was brought into that family, into that situation for such a time. And that the only way to be an effective friend in such situation is to let them ask for your help. The first time Fifi sought my help was the first day she came to see me, but I had to wait until the right time to be effective. Yet the Lord had brought our paths closer ten years previous for such a time. People come into your life for a reason and for a season; only in that season can you bring that needed change. I was brought into Fifi’s life for ten years, but was only needed to be effective after many years had passed.

Fifi and her husband were able to work through their problems because God was able to use She, who made herself available to be used. We must always make ourselves available to be used by God in our everyday life. Fifi never really knew much about She, but when she had no where else to turn she remembered Her. Her relationship with God was the gist of their crowd, and Her refusal to compromise was the talk of their circle. And because of the way She lived, God used Her to be effective in bringing closure and much needed healing to Fifi and her family.

So I ask you today. What kind of Christian are you? And most importantly, what manner of friend are you? Can God use your life to bring healing, restoration and hope to those around you?

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slumming it in Venice

Slumming it in a jolly camp in venezia. Its been fun catching up with baby sisters back packing through Italy. And might I add, I thought back packing meant walking, running and catching buses and trains. Well these two are back packing flying. Can you imagine? They are flying all around Italy with a back pack. Anyways. I am supposed to be slumming it with them this weekend in Venezia. After one night, I / We have left jolly camping for my nice apartment in trento. Enough of all these mosquito bites. This was not the life I was born to live.

From Italia with Love.

Update

I’ve been told by a collegue that Napoli should have been an awsome visit, and that next time I should get a guide. So I’m doing a repeat performace on the 7th of september. Ok, let me tell the truth, I LURVEEEE my jeans so much, I’m going to go buy 5 more pairs..lol.. maybe this time I will get a guide – to see napels and then fully understand the saying “see Napels and die” – obviously I will not die yet. I will live to a ripe old old age. Still looking hot in my D and G jeans by the way. lol.

I know how it feels to be a wedding crasher!!

So my good friends invited me to their best friends wedding and obviously did mention it to the couple that they were bringing people. The wedding I went to in mill hill / edgeware – London was really something, I mean most of the fellas were practically married with their wives in tow, and you could see the wedding guests were mostly close family and friends. They were all smartly dressed, no gele and native in sight, simply professional people look. You would think all the men were grooms men as in they were all wearing the same tie, and colour shirt. The DJ started out lousy, but made up later with his old school music and whatnot. I was dancing on the dance floor like there was no tommorrow, my feet were hurting, I was tired, but I didn’t or couldn’t go and sit down for a little while because all the songs were my songs – as my friends brother exclaimed. It got to a point, I had to take my shoe off just so that I would continue to break dance on the dance floor. I so so enjoyed my self.
But the silly video / camera man kept videoing me. As in he was always in my face. I tried my best to shake him off, but dude kept recording me. I was so self consious. Kept thinking how the bride and groom would get their wedding video and be wondering who this “shaking her thing” woman was. For a while there I was thinking maybe I need to step off the dance floor, but I was like the DJ is playing my tunes, and I wasn’t about to let what he was doing intimidate me off. lol.
Anyways, the following day when the bride called my friend she had to tell her that just in case she saw this particular lady and wonders who she was on her wedding video its her friend. This really thought me a lesson, to better get your own invitation and know the people you are going to eat their rice, because you could either catch a bouquet or in my case boogy too much on the dance floor and get noticed, only for the people paying for the rice to start to wonder who you are or how they let you in. lol.
I’m still in the UK, really enjoying myself. I am now at my parents, and will be leaving for manchester in a few days.

In a witness protection program for my own safety

So far, so near, so out of place.

Then one Sunday morning, in the quiet suburbia streets of Radford in a wonderful church a revelation which quickened my spirit and renewed my resolve was heard through my ears, which resounded in my Spirit and revived my soul. I finally realized, that I was not being punished for what I used to do or did, but because God must increase in my life and in my circumstance, I have had to face such. That even if I had given my life to God, God will and can still allow me to be in my prison, in isolation – John 3 vs. 22 – 26; 30; That sometimes we face situations, just so that God will be praised in our lives. You see prison is a place of isolation / bondage / can’t get out or in unless you are allowed – a place where you are left limited.

Then I realized that God had isolated me for a reason, a purpose – That He has put me in the right place so that He can speak to me. It dawned on me that I had been fighting situations that I haven’t been able to win, with the intension that I am prevented from trying to fix my problems. He brought to my remembrance that no weapons formed against me will prosper – but in the mean time, he has placed me in isolation in a witness protection program. But to remember that the witness protection program was only temporary, as he has gone already ahead to fix my stuff, and has brought me to a point where I only have Him to talk to and pray to, no distractions, disturbance, wondered thoughts, just me and Him. That the situation I find my self in has occurred because God must increase in my life.

My jaws fell, that aha moment – that realisation, that it wasn’t until John went to Jail that Jesus went to Galilee – That only when I decrease can God start moving in my life – Isaiah 40 vs. 31. So I am thankful to be chosen, and in my weakness and struggles God is made more perfect. And therefore rejoice all the more for His favour in allowing me to go though the building process in perfecting that which He started in me.


UPDATE

I guess y’all know I’ve been on some sort of training – carrying on with my spending of the food card they gave here, but WALK everywhere – in a bid to loose 5kg in 4 months. The last time I managed to loose 3kg in 6months, which was awsome. So anyways I remember telling a friend I was hoping to loose 5kg by just “trecking” – he laughed, he said nne, you will have to do more. Then I told myself, even if its 1kg, its better than anything.

So last week of June I started. 23rd of June to be precise. Weighed in yesterday 15th of August, I have lost 3kg – 6.6lbs in less than 2 months, and still 2 more months left. I am so happy. No wonder I’ve been looking so good in those jeans, I just thought it was a coincidence.lol. Anyways I celebrated by doing a 1 and half hrs walk.

So, I’ve decided not to overly give a positive comment

Yep,

this is a really short post about my 1 day and 2 night’s trip to Naples. Because my younger brother and sister were around my end on their tour of continental Europe, we decided to go visit Naples. Mind you, my reasons were obviously different to theirs. I went to spend some serious money on garms, they probably wanted to see the ships, the marines, what Naples is really known for.

The journey was a very tedious and tiresome one. We didn’t reserve our seats, so the coach we had fully occupied and really stretched out in and was getting some serious sleep in;, well the owners came and used Italian to bamboozle me and tried to kick us out, can you imagine. Obviously my sister who is fluent in French, figured out what they were saying (French and Italian have same origin) and had to tell them that I “non capisco” them, they calmed down and actually, started to respect us / me. Wow, the power of being an English speaker in Italy.

Anyways, the people came in apologised, sat down put the lights on and started talking – like having a serious conversation at 2am at night. My goodness. The cheek. Anyways, the Lord said I should give them my other cheek to slap after they had slapped the first one. I was exhausted after the train journey, hit the market got some serious stuff for my mum, she will be looking supper lovely when I see her next and got me those super fly sexy jeans. Oh and before I got them, the shop keeper at one shop told me I was FAT. Can you imagine? The Italian sizes are different from other European sizes, so I was taking my UK size 10 (four in number) jean, when this woman took three from my hand and told me, that I can never fit in them. I was like “whara hell”; she pointed at my bum, and spoke in Italian. My translators translated what the woman was saying to me. In the end I forcefully took one off her, tried them, and got the shock of my life. “YeeY Mogbe”, after all my walks, exercises, fasting (not in the biblical sense); I still can’t fit into size 10 again in this country. I left that shop with my money, and went and got me some D&G ones instead. But even though they were XL, I still look fly in them.

So apart from the 2 pairs of Jeans, a very nice silver bag, plenty of nice tops and my mums shoes and bags galore, that was all I went all the way to Napoli / Naples to buy. It was the month of august and on a Saturday, so most of the traders were already in some beach in Italy on holiday. So not as successful as I had wished, ooh well. We definitely reserved our seats on the way back, what a comfy journey. We saw Rome, Florence and many more cities. Oh and we didn’t get to the harbours. The place was a dump, and the train station area reminded me of “Ajegunle” market in Lagos. My brother once said civilization is a concept of the mind. Just because we are in Europe does not infer that there will always be nice places. Many places in Nigeria are way better than most places in the western world.