“My parents commited adultery. My dad had many wives, sons and daughters at the time He met my mum. He killed her husband just so that He can posses her. In the end in His mercy He forgave my parents, made me ruler – even though it was never my position nor inheritance. I grew in favour with Him, was wealthy beyond my wildest imagination. The richest person in the world, but in the end I left HIM. Yes, I left God, even though I had tasted and knew He was good. Even after what He did for me, what I saw, How He opened doors, favour and unimaginable blessings. I still found worshiping Him a chore, and sought for worthless things” – (2 Sam. 11; & 1Kings 1-11) – Father in heaven, all I want to know is, since you knew this was how it would end, why did you still continue to stand by my side and hope that I will turn out better.
“My parents again, were childless. But one things I could give my dad credit for was He stood by my mum. He loved her still, and didn’t marry another. So when the angel of the Lord appeared to her to start expecting my arrival to them, how they asked God to show them how they will raise me. They praised God and thanked Him for His goodness and His revelations on how to raise me the way of the Lord. But when I could stand by my own two feet, instead of following the way that pleases God, the way my parents had taught me, I flirted with danger, fell in-love with a deceiver, a deceiver whom I told everything that the Lord asked me to keep in order to protect myself. So that in the end by my very own words I brought about my destruction – (Judges 13 – 16). Though in the very end, I still found that God was still by my side walking with me still refusing to give up on me”. Father in heaven, all I want to know is, since you knew this was how it would end, why did you still continue to stand by my side and hope that I will turn out better.
“Should I keep going on – I am too embarrased to give more examples. I am trully ashamed.Father in heaven, all I want to know is, since you knew this was how it would end, why did you still continue to stand by my side and hope that I will turn out better.
I really don’t understand what it is about me, that causes God to have GREAT plans for me even before I was conceived. That Causes Him to celebrate in Heaven each time I take a breath. That causes Him not to sleep or slumber just so that I don’t get overwhelmed, just so that He can keep watch over me. I don’t understand what it about God that He lavishes so much time, resources on “me” even though He knows that one way or the other I will turn out to dissappoint Him. My goodness, what is it about you God that you are so very mindful of me. Then I realised, this is why He asked that I take each day as it comes. Each second and every minute. Because I don’t know tomorrow, He knows. The problems and heart ache I will cause Him with my unbelief and waywardness. Even though He is a God of seasons, our God of yesterday, today and tommorow, He is also a God of “MOMENTS”. Cherishing us. Still seing the best in us, even though he knows how we will trun out.
Father I ask that as you have given me another chance that You enable me to in the end not dissappoint you. To say like paul, I managed to finish the race by keeping the faith –2 Tim. 4:7 – I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Dear Lord I have started to imagine myself, your very own who stood to the very end still holding onto you. That my very end will not dissappoint you.