As I sit here at this desk, table, work top (whatever those around prefer to call it) I can’t help but recall to memory a feeling of waste. How am I sure that I have not wasted my youth, my life, my existence? Which immediately is followed by the ever reoccurring question / questions – why have I been cursed to exist in a form that is worthless to others? What have I been doing, done and is still doing.
I’ve been awake for two score minus eleven years, even though many a times it feels more like countless decades; but where was I? Yes, today the twenty second day, falling on the fifth day of that week and the fifth month of that year, the year I had promised myself a life of meaningful existence, saturated with pleasant memories. I’m I cursed to procrastinate and thus envy the existence of those that appear to oppress my memory living the life I ought to be living, of which I appear not to? I’m I trying to confuse myself? Yes, I was born to live the dream not dream the dream, or else why do I have the dreams, why does my memory remind me of a life unfulfilled, that is still to be attained. Surely the remembrance is not to oppress and leave me with a sense of failure! No that cannot be the case.
Still as I sit, glancing towards the left side of the room, peering through the window, into the garden encompassed with such rich luscious greenery, I really couldn’t help but say out loud I hate this life. Yes, I hate this meaningless existence that has plunged me into this parody; knowing fully well I should be living another, but not inhabiting this. I should be somewhere else not here, but where? WHERE?
I have tried with my own strength to breathe life to the dream. I have encountered obstacles. I have been told it’s no use. And I have tried to jump start it after repeated fruitless attempts; but my efforts were exercises in futility. I hate this meaningless existence. Away from me you dream of hope that has turned my once sweet rest to nightmares of sorts. I am determined to let go, and give up. I am determined to make this nightmare work. But how can I settle for this when I know I was not born for this. The belief that this is not the dream, continues to hold me ransom, I want to leave, I want to leave, but where to? WHERE TO?
There was a young man (not too long ago – just over two thousand years ago), went by the name of John. He was an only child and was born to his parents when they were well advanced in years. I was told that he spent all of his adult years (before he was killed that is) out in the wild wearing nothing but animal skin, in the HOT dry desert, parched, sweaty and exhausted. No shelter and no place to shield him from the scorching sun. Yes, where was I? And all day he would repeatedly churn out the same words – “Prepare the way of the LORD; Make His paths straight. Every valley shall be filled, and every mountain and hill brought low; the crooked places shall be made straight, and the rough ways smooth; and all flesh shall see the salvation of God.” – Luke 3:4-6. This he did without ceasing. Could you imagine how many times he would have had to say this each day, each week and each month?
I’m sure there were people his age, living suddenly, suddenly impressive lives, attaining the riches, wealth and glamour that he could easily have dreamed – which no doubt would have transformed his pitiful existence. And I’m sure there were countless others living the idea of the dream. We are told that men with more than one tunic, tax collectors, soldiers, came to seek his advice ([Luke 3:10-14] mind you these were people who came into money during his time). I’m sure there were many a time when after a packed day, exhausted and tired, he would have wondered, what manner of life is this. But we were told in Matthew 11:11a and Luke 7:28a “Assuredly, I say to you, among those born of women there has not risen one greater than John the Baptist”.
So think about it, John’s life wasn’t anything worth talking about let alone “posting on FB” – (I mean who would envy such a life. Tufiakwa not me”), yet Jesus said in his time, no one was greater than he? Now really think about it. Whose opinion of you matters the most? What do you think God is saying about your life, which apparently you’re calling meaningless and have the audacity to HATE. Think about it! How then can you say your life is worthless?
Now check this, we were also told that in that same Matthew 11:11b and Luke 7:28b “but he who is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he (i.e. John).” Which translates that even if you were a beginner in the Kingdom of God, you’re automatically greater than the Greatest, which means …….. mmhmmm, EXACTLY, OH YES, you are SUPERSTAR status. So next time, you want to say your life is meaningless, let me pose this – when did you become the creator of the Universe and have the power to REVERSE words that God has already spoken concerning you. Now, if He says, You’ve got it going on, how then can you say you haven’t. Which then leads to the second question, how then can you think that what is going on in your life this minute can be termed as a waste? Every time spent in the Lord can never be a waste. Superstars are sort after, and every minute of their lives count. So I repeat that again, your time spent in the Lord will never be a waste. Have you ever wondered how YOUR Superstar status oppresses others? It is you that is living the suddenly, suddenly impressive life..
Oh and the Dreams keep on dreaming it, as my beloved keeps reminding me, there is a time and season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1), and when it happens, mmhmmm it will seem like a dream J
Just in case ya’ll are wondering, I AM LIVING the DREAM.